My Little Secret: A Brother's BFF Secret Baby Novel Page 3

  “I know that smile,” Kayla said.

  “I don’t know how I feel. I like how I feel when I’m with him, but I don’t know what that amounts to. Besides, the two of us haven’t spoken since our little rendezvous in the janitor’s closet,” I said.

  “Wait, you haven’t spoken at all?”

  “Nope.”

  “Not even a little bit?”

  “Uh-uh. For all I know, it was a one-night stand we both needed to get the past out of our system so we could move forward,” I said.

  “Or maybe the two of you could learn how to communicate with more than your bodies so you could establish a real connection,” she said.

  “I’m good. Really. I’m okay with where we left things. A few laughs. A few drinks. Some fun. It felt nice, letting loose like that with someone I’m comfortable with.”

  “I think you should go after him if he’s what you want.”

  “I know you do. And what you aren’t considering is that he might not be what I want.”

  “What do you want?” she asked.

  “A job so I can pay off the fucking student loans, Kayla,” I said, laughing.

  “And after that?”

  I found myself unsure of how to answer that.

  What did come after establishing my career?

  6

  Chase

  An invitation had come in the mail from Serenity’s parents. They were throwing their biannual neighborhood cookout, and as always, my parents and I were invited. I showed it to my father, who simply tucked it away. I knew what that meant. It meant that we would be the only people not RSVPing to the event. It meant we wouldn’t go until we knew what condition Mom was in.

  But when the barbecue rolled around, despite not feeling well, my mother insisted on us going.

  “Sweetheart, if you aren’t feeling well—”

  “All I need is sleep, honey. Just put some snacks and some water next to my bed and let me sleep. The two of you need to get out of this house. All you do is work, and all my son does is watch me sleep and vomit. You guys need a break, and so do I,” my mother said.

  I leaned against the doorway, watching the two of them talk. My father brushed what little hair she had left away from her face, trying to convince her to let one of us stay behind. But I got it. I understood. I got my business acumen from my father but my strength from my mother. And when she needed to be alone, she really needed it. I walked into the room and placed my hands on my father’s shoulders. I bent down and kissed Mom’s forehead, then led him out of the bedroom. He kept looking back over his shoulder as I walked him down the hallway and into the kitchen.

  Then I guided him to the fridge.

  “Get her what she needs, then let’s go. We’re going to be late,” I said.

  Despite my father’s desire to buck against it, he did as he was asked. He was tired. Worn. He had grayed before my very eyes, year after year after year. He got my mother some food and some snacks. Three bottles of water and a thing of juice, just in case. He put a trash can right next to her bed and turned on a marathon of her favorite television show, Criminal Minds.

  Then the two of us headed to the Woods’ house.

  There were cars lined up in their driveway and down the road. We found a parking space just as someone crawled out of it. Their biannual barbecues seemed to get bigger and bigger. Good thing they had a giant backyard. My father and I walked around back and made our way through the fence. People talked and laughed as three grills with food on them were going at the same time. There was beer, and there were sodas. Bottles of water and glasses of cheap wine. There were two tables of side dishes and endless bags of chips. The smell of desserts wafted from the kitchen through the sliding glass porch doors.

  My eyes instantly fell on Serenity, off in the corner talking to Kayla with a glass of wine in her hand.

  “Chase! Mr. Owen! I wasn’t sure if you guys were coming,” Shawn said.

  He clapped my back before shaking my father’s hand, and I saw worry already permeating my father’s eyes.

  “She’s gonna be fine for a couple of hours. I promise,” I said.

  My father sighed. “I need a beer.”

  “The red cooler over on the concrete porch,” Shawn said as he pointed.

  We watched my father walk off, to be quickly intercepted by Shawn’s father.

  “Mom not doing well?” Shawn asked.

  “Not today, no, but she wanted both of us to get out and come over here. Took some convincing on my father’s part, though,” I said, sighing.

  “Well, I’m glad you’re here. Have a beer; I’ll go get myself another.”

  I took the beer from Shawn’s hand and thanked him. I tipped it up to my lips and watched him walk off before he was intercepted by his father. Probably needed help with one of the grills. When something ever happened to them, Shawn was the Grill Whisperer. I grinned as my father mingled with people he hadn’t seen or been out with in months. He quickly got wrapped up in conversation that made my heart feel a little lighter.

  But once I heard her voice behind me, my gut clenched.

  “Hey there, Chase.”

  I turned around and saw Serenity behind me, looking as gorgeous as she could ever have been.

  “Hope I’m not too late for the party,” I said, grinning.

  “Can’t be late if the party doesn’t have a start time. My father forgot to put that on the invitation,” she said.

  “I didn’t even notice.”

  She giggled and took a sip of her wine.

  “You look great in that dress,” I said.

  “You look great in anything you wear, apparently,” Serenity said.

  “You think so, huh?”

  “I know so. I’ve seen you three times since I’ve been back in town, and you’ve looked great every single time.”

  My eyes dropped down her body as I took another pull from my beer.

  “How goes living with your parents?” I asked.

  “Puts a bit of a wrench in some things, but I’m finding ways to work around it. I’d ask you the same thing, but it seems as if you’ve mostly worked it out,” she said.

  “I work it out no matter circumstances are thrown at me.”

  “Trust me, I know.”

  The air between us crackled. It sizzled like it had at the bar. Our eyes connected, and they refused to break apart. There wasn’t a comment that wanted to roll off my tongue that was suited for public consumption. I saw her mother approaching Serenity from behind, and I was almost thankful for the interjection.

  Until she spoke.

  “You two really need to get married before I up and croak.”

  “Mom!” Serenity exclaimed.

  She hugged her daughter as I stood there, my eyebrows hiked up on my forehead.

  “I’m serious! The two of you are always off in your own little world. Smiling at one another. Laughing together. I’m not an idiot, and I’m not getting any younger,” Mrs. Woods murmured.

  “You really shouldn’t say things like that. You might give me ideas,” I said coyly.

  I felt Serenity’s eyes hard on the profile of my face.

  “Well, I just think my daughter is perfect for you, is all. I’ve always believed it, and I know your mother does too,” Mrs. Woods said.

  I wasn’t sure how to respond to her comment, but I saw the look in Serenity’s eyes. She looked as if she was about to cry, and not in a good way. Her mother gave her one last hug before kissing her cheek, then patted my shoulder and walked off.

  “I’m so sorry. That was an insensitive comment,” Serenity breathed.

  Oh. That was what had upset her.

  Wait, that was what had upset her? Out of everything her mother had said?

  “Mom’s going to beat cancer’s ass for good this time. She always reassures me of it,” I said.

  She giggled, and I watched her turn her head. She tried to be discreet about wiping her tears away, but she failed. At least, with me she did.


  “She’s having more good days than bad, I promise,” I said.

  “I was just really hoping she’d be up to coming to this, is all,” Serenity said.

  I wanted to take her into my arms, both for her comfort and for mine. But the only thing I could think to do was change the subject.

  “Can you imagine the fireworks display we would have had on our hands had your brother heard your mother talk like that?” I asked.

  Serenity laughed, and I watched as her tears slowly receded from her eyes.

  “A fireworks display before he would have had a heart attack,” she said, giggling.

  Then I heard a cell phone ringing pretty close to us.

  “Sorry, that’s me. Let me just…”

  But when a smile crossed her face and she walked off without another word, I was left alone to pine after her. Watching as her hips swayed in that beautiful dress as she chatted happily with whoever the hell was on the other end of that line.

  7

  Serenity

  As I sat there waiting for my interview, I prepared as best as I could. I looked up facts on Colorado State University and familiarized myself with their more recent psychological discoveries. I had gotten the call for the interview in the middle of the cookout, and while I hated that it had pulled me away from Chase, I also knew he’d understand. Once I got around to talking to him again anyway. I had applied to be a researcher in their clinical psychology department. It wasn’t exactly what I was looking for, but it would give me experience. After five or so years, I could start applying for the jobs I really wanted—the jobs that had something to do with child psychology, and eventually researching and helping children who came into my care.

  This, however, was a very good start.

  “Serenity Woods?”

  Someone stuck their head out of an office and called my name. I stood up and smoothed my hands over my shirt, then walked into the interview. They asked me the usual questions. Why I wanted the job. What skills I thought I could bring to the table. If I had an overarching research goal I wanted to try and fulfill while I was there. I was honest with them. Honest about my passion and where I wanted to take my career. They seemed impressed, but then the interviewer slapped me with the reality staring me in the face.

  “We have to say you’ve impressed us, Miss Woods. We were hesitant, what with your lack of experience, but you’ve managed to change our minds. We’ve got several applicants to interview still, but you should hear from us before the end of the month as to whether or not you’re needed for a second interview,” he said.

  “Do you mind me asking how many people I’m up against? I like knowing my odds,” I said, smiling.

  “Any researcher worth their weight in salt would, Miss Woods. There are one hundred and fifty applicants total, and we’re only taking on one person this year. Budget cuts have hit us hard,” he said.

  One hundred and fifty.

  I was one out of a hundred and fifty.

  When I left the interview, the lobby I had been sitting in was filled with people waiting patiently to interview. People of all ages, backgrounds, races and intellect levels. I had gone into the interview happy and confident and left CSU’s campus dejected and deflated. My chances were beyond small. I practically didn’t have any.

  I drove home in a daze and walked into the house to find Shawn on his lunch break.

  Great. Just what I needed.

  Not.

  “Any luck?” Shawn asked.

  I sighed. “As if you have to ask.”

  “Skirt too short?”

  I snickered as I walked into the kitchen.

  “At this point, I think maybe it wasn’t short enough,” I said.

  “Oooh, throwing your body to the interviewers. That tactic worked back when Mom and Dad were our age,” Shawn said.

  “If I throw in a bit of cleavage, I might be able to up the starting salary too.”

  “Then you can buy the good coffee and toilet paper.”

  The two of us shared a laugh as I pulled a salad out of the fridge. I grabbed a bottle of juice and sat down at the table across from Shawn, grabbing a napkin. I fixed my salad and ate in silence. Shawn kept flickering his eyes up to me.

  “Your mind is yelling at me. What is it?” I asked.

  “I just wanted you to know that I talked to Chase,” he said.

  My eyes slowly panned up to his as my fork stopped midway to my mouth.

  “Okay?” I asked.

  “I mean, I talked to him about you, so you won’t have to worry about any pressure from him or anything now that you are home,” he said.

  “And I told you a million times, Shawn. He never pressured me into anything.”

  “You were eighteen, and he was twenty-three. He sure as hell did. You were a kid.”

  “I was a legal adult about to go off to college. I made my own decisions,” I said.

  “Well, I talked to him anyway. You’re welcome,” he said.

  “I never asked you to, so I’m not thanking you.”

  “Is that supposed to mean something?”

  I rolled my eyes. “Can we not do this right this second, please?”

  “Do what? I’m trying to protect you from a man I know very well. A man who tears through one-night stands and women like you tear through salads on a daily basis. He’s no good for you. He wasn’t then, and he isn’t now. I love Chase. He’s my best friend. But he’s shit with women.”

  “You’re being ridiculous, okay? I’m an adult, and I can make my own decisions and assumptions about people.”

  “I don’t care. You’re my younger sister, and I know Chase. I’ve seen him do some shitty things to girls while you’ve been away at college. I’m not going to watch him use you like he used you all those years ago,” he said.

  “For the last time, Chase didn’t use me. He didn’t force himself on me. He didn’t lead me on. It was consensual,” I said.

  “And it’ll be the last time it happens. This is for your own good, Serenity.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Eat your damn sandwich and shut up.”

  I stabbed my salad, angry that my brother had brought something like that up at such a fragile time. And yet, it got me wondering. How had Chase felt about us when we were together all those years ago? Or even just last week? Had there been something more to it for him like there was for me? Or was I nothing but a nice stress release for him? Either way, it didn’t bother me. Chase was a lot of fun. Sexy as hell. I sure wouldn’t mind hopping into his lap again if I got the chance.

  I never told him how I felt about him. About the crush I’d had on him throughout my teenage years. About how I had fantasized about him, and how he had hooked me deeply when the two of us started fooling around.

  Would my breath have been wasted if I had admitted my feelings for him? Were we nothing but an ongoing hookup?

  Did it even matter at this point?

  8

  Chase

  The week was long. I took Mom to her chemo, and she didn’t do well with it. Despite the suckers Shawn had given me to pass on to her, she threw up more stuff than I had ever seen her put into her body at once over the past few months. When I smoothed my hand over her hair, the last few chunks that had been hanging on for dear life fell into my palms, leaving my mother completely bald. It took all I had to keep it together.

  It took all I had to stay strong while my father sobbed into my shoulder that night.

  I felt myself growing weary of this life. Of the torture my mother was being put through and the way that torture resonated with my father.

  “Hey, son?”

  “Yep?” I asked.

  “There any way you can work Sunday? I’d like to spend a day with Mom if at all possible,” he said.

  “Dad, that’s what I’m here for. You don’t have to ask. Just tell me when and where.”

  “It’s an all-day thing. Twelve-hour shift.”

  “So what you’re saying is I need to enjoy my weekend while I’ve got it?�
�� I said.

  My father brought me into a hug, and I embraced him tightly. He patted my back, gripping me tightly, trying to bleed his thanks through his body and into mine. But he had nothing to thank me for. He was my father, and I had moved back for this exact reason.

  To help him keep the business going so we could pay for Mom’s second round of treatment.

  My father let me go and placed a call to his secretary, letting her know about the schedule change. I set out to make plans for my weekend. I knew exactly who I wanted to spend it with. I knew exactly who I wanted to see before my massive twelve-hour shift.

  I wondered if her cell phone number was still the same.

  She had slipped it to me when she left for college, slipped a piece of paper into my pocket that held nine numbers I could dial and talk to her at any moment. I had never used it. I’d laid there some nights wishing I had the strength to call her, but after that shit kicked up with Shawn, I felt it best to not continue opening that basket. I was an idiot for not being stronger. For not chasing what I wanted the first time around.

  That shit wouldn't happen again.

  I pressed in Serenity’s number and held my ringing cell phone to my ear. It rang and it rang, and I almost expected some random person to pick up on the other end of the line. It had been six years since she had given me this number. Surely it had changed.

  “Chase?”

  Her voice wafted over the phone, and I couldn’t fucking believe it.

  “I see some things don’t change,” I said.

  “You still have my number,” she said.

  “I never got rid of it.”

  “But you never used it?”

  “I’m using it now,” I said.

  “May I ask why?”

  “I was wondering if you wanted to go out tonight. Get some food. Maybe take in a sight or two. Ride around like we did a few times back in the old days,” I said.

  “That actually sounds nice. I could use a night out of this house,” she said.